So I've decided to write a complete new blog, there comes a time in your life when you have to actually ask yourself are you happy with yourself? For the most part I am, just little things that worry me. The one that stood out the most was my weight.
I don't think I've ever been considered small or thin since I was younger, I started grammar school and the weight fluctuated from there really, slowly getting bigger and going into bigger size clothes.
I didn't personally notice it that much till my mother went on a diet and I thought 'why not? I could stand to lose some weight.'
So the dieting started just under 10 years ago, I'd like to say I've tried all the diets and found the best for me but I haven't, not even close. I've only ever just cut down, cut out fatty foods and the last was calorie counting. I lost 2 stone on calorie counting, it worked extremely well for me, obviously writing my food intake down and summing it up was the way to go, but it soon got boring and repetitive. Then the cutting corners began, a packet of crisps there or a small chocolate bar here. Thinking if I just had one I didn't need to write the calorie intake down, one didn't matter. But it came to a point where it never stayed at one and soon the writing down went completely sparse, and ended up in the bin with the dieting itself.
In the late months of 2006 I fell pregnant with my son, which if you ask any mother, most of them will say that it is a complete free pass to eat what you want and no one can say anything about. I used this pass to my compete advantage. Eating snacks, take aways, chocolate and not stopping at one helping, I'd convinced myself I needed to eat for two.
My son was born in early July and my binging didn't stop there, my eating habits I had learned from my pregnancy I brought over post birth. Couple of years past and diets were reinstated, gym was joined. A friends pack was introduced. Lose weight together and we'll all help each other, but even this could not help me. The gym was abandoned, diet was put to the back of my mind as well as in my friends too.
So here we are almost 10 years since I decided I wasn't happy with my weight and nothing has changed except I put a lot more weight on. I have come to realise I have no will power, I cannot do it on my own.